For the off!

Well, that's most of the goodbyes out of the way. I've left my job, left the house, left the gym, left Julia and Thea (very sad) and the fish (even sadder - just kidding) and all my new friends. Felt a bit like the leading lady in Muriel's Wedding as I said goodbye to the town and everything that's become so familiar to me over the - I all but called out "Goodbye Porpoise Spit" but you'd really have to have watched MW a couple of times to know why!

Anyway I think I'm really left with the feeling now that I won't really know how I feel until I'm away from Sri Lanka. I think it will take time to assess the impact the trip has had on me. Or perhaps that's me just talking from tiredness seeing as I lay awake all last night. I lay there trying to take it all in - the sound of the fan, the brush of the net against my foot, the constant gibbering of the monkeys, the green of the trees against the dark night sky that I could just about make out through the crack in my curtains. And this morning, the gradual transition of black sky to pink sky to blue as a new day dawned. I didn't want to forget any of it.

Today of course, the rose tinted specs seem to have been mislaid - amazing how your capacity for romance can disappear when you get no sleep!

I try not to get too emotional about these things as anyone who knows me will testify. Indeed, one of my housemates who's known me for only a few weeks predicted I'd be upset when I left "but hiding it expertly" and she was right! Well done Thea! I did have a bit of a wobble yesterday as I was on my way in a tuk tuk for one last trip to the Lighthouse Hotel for a swim. I got worried I'd forget the smell of the warm air and the ocean (as Rob, a journalist I met out here said to me, it's something the internet hasn't yet been able to do is convey smells - but one day!).

So I started breathing it in, taking deeper and deeper breaths, desperate never to forget. On the last intake, one so deep I nearly forgot how to exhale, I suddenly felt quite emotional. I put it down to a physiological reaction myself but I got a bit of a lump in my throat and nearly (key word 'nearly') cried! That'll teach me to breathe won't it!

Anyway as I said, I'll do a full impact assessment on my return but right now, I don't know if I'm sad to leave, excited to be going home, nervous about Singapore (seeing as my cousin appears to have changed his number and I can't get hold of him - the things some folk will do to avoid me!) or just plain tired so, in short, for the moment, I can't see the wood for the trees.

I've one final night out tonight with The Colombo Set which I'm really looking forward to. Then, 6.30am I'm leaving in a taxi for the airport and heading for Singapore which I'm told will be very very different to Sri Lanka. Vive la difference, I can't wait!!